I recently received the following message: “Dear Mr. Modem: I have reason to believe that some inappropriate things are occurring with a member of my family on the Internet. Is there any way I can monitor what is occurring online when I’m not around? Thank you so much for being there, Mr. M. I don’t know where else I’d turn. My life would have no meaning without you. You are my hero. You complete me.” (Okay, so maybe I’m paraphrasing.)

My recommendation to this concerned reader was Spector (tinyurl.com/3dqrwc), a $69.95 program that functions as an invisible surveillance camera, taking snapshots of what appears on-screen. It records all chat conversations, instant messages, emails typed and read, all Web sites visited, programs launched, and keystrokes entered. Everything that occurs on the PC is saved to a hidden location on the hard drive. You can return to the computer a few hours or even weeks later to review exactly what transpired in the interim and then decide whether it’s appropriate to schedule an intervention, call law enforcement, or breathe a sigh of relief.

Vista’s Quick Launch bar (the little icon-infested area to the right of the Start button) automatically assigns shortcut key combinations to the first 10 items dragged to that location. Who knew? Simply press the Windows Key plus a number key corresponding to the icon’s position on the bar. For example, to launch the fourth application on the Quick Launch bar, press WIN (the Windows logo key) and 4 simultaneously (for the 10th application, press WIN-0). (NOTE: If you don’t see the Quick Launch bar, after first confirming that your eyes are open, right-click an empty area of the Taskbar and click Toolbars, Quick Launch.)

Flash Experiments by Clown Staples (www.geocities.com/clownstaples) presents three Flash demonstrations that will boggle your mind and possibly make you queasy. “Morse” combines Morse Code and music; “Windows Noises” orchestrates the various Windows blips, beeps, and boops into a virtual symphony; and “Ball On String” is—well, just move your cursor to fling the ball around.

A report by Akamai Technologies (www.akamai.com) reveals that 75% of the online shoppers surveyed will not purchase anything from a Web site that requires longer than four seconds to appear on-screen. Based on my research, that is slightly less than the attention span of a turnip, which will wait up to seven seconds.

FreeSnap (tinyurl.com/ypu4ga) allows you to precisely move and resize any window (or multiple windows) with your keypad. Want that small window to snap to the right edge of the screen? Press and hold the Windows Key and the right arrow. It’s just that simple.

Test your reflexes with the cleverly named Reflex Game (www.reflexgame.com). Due to space constraints, I cannot provide detailed operational instructions, so click the Start button and then click the Stop button. On second thought, those are the detailed instructions. Your response time is calibrated to the thousandth of a second. I wouldn’t characterize this game as life-altering, but it is fun in an I’m-bored-out-of-my-mind kind of way.

If you’re like me and you frequently become disoriented by noxious modem fumes, Say The Time (tinyurl.com/22a2lc) will remind you of the date and time. I have mine configured so a pleasant female voice tells me the time every 15 minutes. Oh sure, it scares the heck out of me, but the adrenaline surge keeps me awake and productive until the next advisory. The program also has an appointment calendar and a “sticky note” feature, neither of which I have any interest in. You can try Say The Time for 30 days, or it’s $24.95 to purchase.

EndItAll2 (tinyurl.com/4qy3o) is a nifty, free utility that quickly closes all or selected programs running in the background. It’s ideal to use before running Disk Defrag or if you encounter any squirrelly downloads.

And finally, though long-time readers know that I traditionally conclude each column with a rousing medley of my favorite show tunes, this month I will defer to a must-see video, “The Mom Song” (tinyurl.com/2kfbmr), performed by Anita Renfroe. It’s guaranteed to put a smile on your face.

by Mr. Modem

Mr. Modem (Richard Sherman) is an author, syndicated columnist, radio host, and publisher. “Mr. Modem’s Weekly Newsletter” provides personal responses to subscribers’ computer and Internet questions, plus weekly computing tips, Web site recommendations, virus alerts, hoax warnings, and more. For additional information, visit www.MrModem.com.